Pearls of Wisdom
How to Make the New Year Successful and Fulfilling:
Start With
an Attitude Inventory
It's a wise custom to end an old year and begin a new one with
serious self-reflection. What did you learn this year that could improve your
life and make you a wiser and better person?
If you want to have a successful and fulfilling New year, start
by examining the way you think and feel about your job, your relationships, and
yourself. After all, the single most important factor in personal happiness and
your impact on others is your attitude.
In the geometry of life, the axiom is "positive attitudes
produce positive results." They make success more likely, failures less harmful,
pleasures more frequent, and pain more bearable. Some people tend to bring warm
sunshine wherever they go; others bring cold chills. What do you
bring?
To find out where you can improve, take an inventory of your
predispositions, the attitude you're most likely to start with:
Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic?
Do you tend to assume the best or expect the worst of
people?
Is your first instinct to be empathetic or
judgmental?
Is your first instinct to be supportive or critical?
Do you send the message that you enjoy life or that you're
barely enduring it?
Do you come across as the captain of your own ship or simply a
passenger?
Wherever you are on the positive-attitude spectrum, think how
much better things could be if you were more consistently and self-consciously
optimistic, empathetic, supportive, grateful, enthusiastic, hopeful, and
cheerful.
So why not resolve to think, act, and speak more positively
about yourself, your family, your coworkers, and everyone else in your
life?
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character
counts.
Michael Josephson
_____________________________________________________________________________________
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody
can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a
new ending.”
Nothing could be closer to the truth.
But before you can begin this
process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been
holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Spending time with the wrong peopleLife is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of
you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You
shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who
continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand
by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when
you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
Running from your problemsFace
them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of
flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able
to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to
get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of
living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of
time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
Lying to yourselfYou can lie to
anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only
when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to
be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Putting your own needs on the back burnerThe most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone
too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help
yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do
something that matters to you, that moment is now.
Tying to be someone you’re not.
One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s
trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone
will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be
you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people
will love the real you.
Trying to hold onto the past.You
can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
Stop being scared to make a mistake
Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than
doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every
failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did
NOT do far more than the things you did.
Berating yourself for old mistakesWe may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter
how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person
and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and
even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your
struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your
future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you
for a moment that is yet to come.
Trying to buy happinessMany of
the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really
satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
Stop worrying so much
Worry will not
strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check
if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this
matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not
worth worrying about.
Focusing on what you don’t want to happenFocus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of
every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that
something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close
attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Being ungratefulNo matter how
good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone
somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about
what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is
missing.
Exclusively looking to others for happiness.
If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a
long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in
your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read: Stumbling
on Happiness.
Being idleDon’t think too much
or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate
situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to
confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second
base with your foot on first.
Thinking you’re not readyNobody
ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great
opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we
won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
Getting involved in relationships for the
wrong reasonsRelationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be
alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant
to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the
best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Rejecting new relationships just because old
ones didn’t work.In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for
everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach
you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Trying to compete against everyone else. Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating
your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Being jealous of othersJealousy
is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask
yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
Complaining and feeling sorry for yourselfLife’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction
that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it
happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs
thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a
better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know
that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Holding grudgesDon’t live your
life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the
people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is
saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”
Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember,
forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must,
forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
Letting others bring you down to their levelRefuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise
theirs.
Wasting time explaining yourself to others.
Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do
what you know in your heart is right.
Doing the same things over and over without
taking a break.
The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have
time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what
you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
Overlooking the beauty of small moments
Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they
were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless
moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Trying to make things perfect.The
real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things
done. Read Getting Things Done.
Following the path of least resistance. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.
Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
Acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend
to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going
well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either –
cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the
sooner you will be able to smile again.
Blaming others for your troublesThe extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which
you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re
going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part
of your life.
Trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one
person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
So narrow your focus.